Want...

Want is a curious thing. From the moment we’re born, we want. It’s the driving force behind most of our development growing up, first for basic things like food, then more general desires, then more nuanced ones as we move into young adulthood. It’s an inherent thing, a basic part of us, to want. 

For some of us, though, wanting can become hard, whether because it is used as a tool or weapon against us when we share it with the wrong people who make us feel unsafe or ungrateful for daring to want something they don’t want to give us, or because so much is out of reach that it becomes self-protective not to want that which we know we can never have, be it material things or even being wanted in return. So, in the face of constant denial and suffering, we learn to stop wanting, to push our wants, and often eventually needs, down deep where the not having them doesn’t hurt quite as much anymore. 

Then one day, we meet someone who cares about what we want, who comes in and, very, very gently, reaches into our hearts to where we’ve tucked away all the things we thought could never be and pulls them out, dusts them off, and holds them close, reawakening them so that they blossom, so that we blossom, into the beautiful, seen people we were always meant to be. We begin to feel want again, to desire the things that feed our minds, souls, and, most of all, our hearts. We learn, finally, that it’s okay to want for ourselves, that there are those who, even if their own wants aren’t quite aligned, will stilll listen, care, and try to provide, even if it’s just a matter of meeting somewhere in the middle, because we are important, just by being existing.

You do that for me, baby. And I hope I do the same for you, every day. Love should be about wanting for one another’s wants and dreams, and working to make them true. It should be about listening and caring, compromise, sometimes, but never sacrifice. You have given me that, and I strive always to return it. I love you, my sweet girl, for all you are, not just what you can do for me.