Never settling...

Change is inevitable, but it is also often painful. Rarely, though, is it not worth the growth that can come from it. Relationships, if they’re to survive, must be open to embracing change, arguably even more so when it hurts. By the same token, when there’s trauma to be healed, it’s a truly remarkable thing to be with a partner who isn’t alright with the idea of the other settling for less than they need, just because it’s how it’s always been in the past. 

This evening, I told you that I noticed you hadn’t been reaching for me, or cuddling up close to me as often as you typically have. I explained that it’s been my experience in the past that, while that inclination never diminishes in me, it has always done so in others as the newness of things wears off. I tried to tell you that it was alright, that it always hurt a bit, but I certainly wasn’t upset with you, and it was no threat to us, at all, as we’re still very affectionate. Just that I’d noticed the shift.

After we had dinner, you came back to me and told me, essentially, that you had been thinking it through since then, and wanted to piece it out and understand what may have caused the lessening of affection, because you weren’t at all okay with my being okay with settling for less. We’re still working on understanding, but the fact that it’s important enough to you to do that kind of deep work with me, within yourself, means more to me than I can express. Looking back, though, this is something we’ve both done throughout the course of our relationship, when the other was beginning to resign themselves to letting go of something important to them because that’s just how it had always gone in the past. And we’re all the healthier and stronger for that fact. 

I love you, my sweet girl, so very much, and I will always try to be sure that you, too, get everything you deserve, even when you may doubt whether that’s the case.