Receiving...

This morning, as we were talking after a long night for both of us, I said to you that, when I feel the distance most acutely, my urge is to hold you tightly. I should be clear, what I mean when I say that is not that I want to grasp you, to hold you in place, or reach for you out of fear, but rather in the very real sense. My arms ache to be around you, just as,you replied, yours do around me. In the moments when the space between us grows, whether literally or figuratively, our reflex is to draw closer, to offer comfort and, more importantly, to accept it.

We’ve recently been talking about the nature of givers and takers, and how wonderful it is to be a giver with another giver, as our needs are consistently attended to. The problem, at times, with givers, though, is that we can often get stuck in a place where we only know how to give, and don’t put much energy into receiving. I know it’s something with which I struggle, at times. It doesn’t help that our culture glorifies selfless giving, and vilifies, to a degree, healthy selfishness. So one of the things that our relationship has taught me and, I wager, you, as well, is how to both give healthily, but also how to receive in a spirit of grace and gratitude, to feel worthy of the time, love, and attention. It’s a potent thing and one I can’t wait to develop further with you over a lifetime together. I love you, my sweet girl. Thank you for caring for me as I do you, and for allowing me to do the same.