Something to hold onto...

Adrift at sea as I am, I thought I’d tell you what gets me through the days and nights without you, or, well, some of the things. There’s no way even someone like me could possibly hope to list all the ways in which you’ve brought light and life into my world, though I’ll spend the rest of our life trying, all the same. I hope that this can be one of those guiding stars for you, when you need it.

Someday…Someday, I will wrap my arms around you. I will, with the greatest care, tuck your hair behind your ear, look into your beautiful eyes, the ones that have always seen me true, and kiss your tears away. In that moment, you will know that all of the things that we’ve been through, before we found one another, through those first blissful, exciting days together, and even this long night apart, you will know it was all to bring you here, to bring you home, to fill that emptiness in your heart, already so full of love, waiting for that final piece, just as mine has been. You’ll raise your hand and put it over mine on your cheek, shuddering and clinging to me as tightly as I am to you, as though there is anything in the world that could separate us again. We will cry all the tears we’ve held for one another, to cleanse the pain and the ache of all of the space between now and then. 

We’ll build a life, full and amazing, out of wonder, curiosity, grace, passion, and love. We will fill it with family, friends, adventures, and all the little rituals, glances, and moments that make up romance. It will be poetry and music, slow dances, touch, whispered affirmations, shared strength, when things get difficult. You will never have to feel alone or unseen again, for as long as I draw breath, and I will never have to be lost. We will be amazing. Just hold on to me in your heart until we reach the other end of this vast, dark ocean, knowing that I hold you in mine. Hold on to yourself, to your fierce, wild soul, and know that it is beloved to me. You are beloved to me.

I will not waver. I will not give up. I will hold fast and true to you, and to us. We will survive this, and on the other side is…well, all of that, and countless other things. Don’t hide who you are anymore. If you’re sad, be sad. You don’t have to hide any of yourself from those who don’t have the vision to see the beauty in every part of you, because you now know that someone truly loves it all, every bit. I love you, my sweet, beautiful, amazing girl, and I will be here, now and always.