The illusion of time...

We talked a lot last night about time. First, it was about the timelines of what we'd like to do in our future, then the ways that our time together has sort of defied conventional wisdom, because of the way we've used it so fully to delve into ourselves and one another. We have packed so much into the months we have that it feels like I've known you for years.

Relationships are deepened primarily by two things. On one level, it's by learning the parts of one another that matter to compatability, things like communication styles, conflict resolution, world view, hopes, dreams, fears, trauma, approaches to family, parenting, finances, all the things that make up a shared life. In most relationships, this is a very long process, made so by the slow lowering of defenses, hiding the parts of us that we're afraid to show, and the other completely natural reservations that, for whatever reason, we just never seemed to have.

From day one, we've both dived right into the deep end of conversation. There was an innate sense of safety between us, and, driven by a shared curiosity (and dislike of surface conversion, hehe), we went deep. We learned one another well, and fell in love with not just the excitement of novelty that begins every relationship, but the truer exhilaration of finding someone whose soul seems to fit yours in the places it matters. And lord, do we fit.

The other, harder thing that leads to the deepening of relationships is adversity. How we handle difficulties shows us so much. It shows whether we work as a team, or turn to minding only our own hurt. It shows whether we choose one another when things become harder. It shows how much we're willing to fight for one another, to bend for one another and find healthy compromise, which often leads to growth for both. Navigated properly, each difficulty makes the relationship stronger. By testing the safety and security of a relationship, we build trust, and we have most certainly been tested.

Every time, though, we have been consistent in our working together, looking out for each other as much as ourselves, growing, rather than giving in to trauma, and making something incredible. I would trust you with my life, my heart, with anything, because we have been through so much already. You are my person, my partner, my beloved.

So yes, we haven't had a lot of time, true. But we have done so much with that time, done so well with the extraordinary amount of adversity, that we have mapped well the deepest, most important aspects of what we need to build a life. So never let the world tell us we're moving too fast just by looking towards a future we know we want down the line, especially when the trials it has sent are the reason we're so sure of what we want and need, and what we have. We are amazing. I love you, my sweet girl, so very much.