Voice

When you were here for your first visit, I gave you a journal. It was a simple thing, and I got it for you the day after you were able to retrieve your blog. I remember the night we were talking, and you told me that you’d had one, but that you’d deleted it because you felt as though the people whom you wanted to read it weren’t. I told you that I would have, and how to perhaps find it again. Your eyes lit up, and your tears became something different, the sadness turning into joy. For that, I’d have done, will always do, most anything. After you started to send it to me, I read it voraciously, seeing so much of the woman you are now forming in your words then. My heart ached to go back in time, to wrap my arms around you, to tell you that I was on my way, just to wait a little longer, because I saw you, I heard you, the first whispers of your beautiful voice…

The journal seemed like a necessity, as I reached the end of what you were able to recover. I gave it to you because I want to read your words, your thoughts, to know your heart through poetry and prose. Your voice is everything to me, so much of who you are. I want to carry it always in my soul, to hear you sing, cry out, laugh, fill my world with your dreams, your musings, even your fears, so that I can stand beside you while we fight them together. Your voice is important, my sweet girl, and I hope that, should you ever feel that mine is growing too loud for yours to be heard, that you know you can say so, because I never, ever want that to happen. We are partners, equals, making decisions, as we did today, about our lives, and our shared life. 

I give you my word that I will never attempt to silence you, even if the words you offer cause me discomfort, because I would rather work through that discomfort with you, than pass the suffering to you in my place. It’s safe here to speak your truth to me, just as I know it’s safe for me to do the same. At the heart of everything we are building is the way we communicate, openly, beautifully, carefully, in all things. As long as we have that, there’s nothing we can’t do. I love you, my dear heart. Please never quiet your voice, for me, nor for anything else.