Yesterdays, tomorrows, and todays...

I often wish that tomorrows could make todays easier. I woke for the first time this morning well before dawn with that familiar hollow ache that is my longing for you, then was able to find sleep again for awhile. Now, with no night left in which to hide, I must face the missing of you.

It isn't acute pain, but rather the dull ache of knowing that there's a part of my heart just outside of reach for a bit. It's difficult to describe, but I imagine you know exactly what I mean, may even be feeling it yourself as you read this. So I'll try to soothe today by dreaming about a not very far off tomorrow…

It's a tomorrow when, if one of us wakes at 4am, from pain, fear, loneliness, or just the simple restlessness of insomnia, we can reach out and hold or be held by the other, feel warm skin, the soft sigh of knowing home in another's arms. When any day apart will be a choice, and our every day will be filled with the love, wholeness, joy, and beauty of what we are, the way so many of our yesterdays together have been.

But we're in today today. So I will lay here a bit longer, curled in the cool darkness of morning and the warmth of my blankets, and miss you, my sweet girl, knowing each today alone brings us closer to the tomorrows when we never have to be again. I love you, with all that I am, and I will be right here, now and always.